Issues with Grief & Bereavement The most threatening storm is often followed by a rainbow - a token of peace, dignity, hope and most of all ...love
- Anonymous

Not everyone experiences the same feelings or stages, nor with the same intensity. There is no one "right way," no necessary order to stages, nor is there a correct time period for this process. Some of the emotions that one may experience while grieving are:

• Shock: which protects you form the impact of the death for a while.
• Anger: which may be experienced at being let down by the person who died or when you are looking for someone to blame for the death.
• Depression: or feelings of isolation and loneliness.
• Guilt: what didn't you do to save the person.
• Denial: a process of not allowing feelings to come to the surface.
• Fear: not understanding the grieving process.
• Sadness: an overwhelming sense of loss.
• Anxiety: an inability to concentrate, which can become so severe that one cannot function.
• Relief: because of the end of suffering the loved one has endured.
• Longing: a sense of wanting everything to return to what it had been.

Grieving may progress over a period of two years or even longer, depending on many individual factors, such as depth and length of relationship with the loved one or friend. Some people may experience disbelief at hearing about the death of their loved one. They may believe that the person should not have died. They may have difficulty imagining life without that person. "They were too young." "They were too good." "They were too healthy." "I can't survive without him/her." All of these are common reactions.

Many people have a need for religious services and other rituals, which promote the grieving process, provide social support and allow a death to be validated. These rituals provide a time for family and friends to support each other and to say goodbye to the deceased person. Different cultural or religious traditions have different rituals. Examples of these rituals include holding a wake where the body is displayed or sitting Shiva in which the family is given comfort through home visitations by friends. Some people display a picture of the deceased in their home, perhaps surrounded by candles and flowers. Other examples include holding a memorial service, writing in a journal, visiting the gravesite. All of these can help healing.

If you have experienced the loss of someone you love or of a friend and would like to speak to our Bereavement staff (via e-mail) please write to jandrews@nah.org. Someone will be able to help you to understand your feelings and reactions and the process of grieving.